December 2009
10 posts
5:37am
I stood on the path and cried for the everything I had lost. The fact that I couldn’t get them back pained me the most. And when mascara is running down your face, and you are utterly alone. You then realize this has become you’re life. Born into this world alone & dying one second at a time, alone. What is the fucking point to all this suffering? Someone please tell me, because I...
11:05pm
I walked past the park our hands & lips touched. The flowers are still in bloom but I only see them wither. I lit another cigarette, It tasted like nostalgia. And my dreams have become more like nightmares. Always with you, Staring back at me black-eyed and gone. You still remind me of everything I’ve lost, and have yet to lose.
12:05pm
My head throbs, it only thinks of you. My heart aches, it only hurts for you. My body slumbers, it dreams of you. Sink your body into mine. Let these scars heal on their own. Maybe these nightmares will end, once you come back. Though you only exist in my subconscious…
10:12pm
My bedroom is dimmed, It has become my only solace. If there is a god, he isn’t worth praying to. He has stolen my youth and my happiness. I have no morals, Nothing left but doubt and fear. I’m fading as each minute goes by, This isn’t a dream, But I’ll be sleeping soon. Coma girl slumbers forever.
1:42am
Sexual advances, Though still even don’t satisfy this cracked heart. I miss you, Your name is still tattooed on this skin so pale. If I could, I would show you this naked skin, vulnerable & shaking. But fairytales don’t come true, And I’m still waiting for you still. You won’t come back, My loneliness speaks louder than my words ever can.
1:05am
I lied to my therapist today, Even she doesn’t know me well enough to see through my blatant fabrications. And She thinks i’m getting better, Truth is it’s all downhill from here. I’m on the edge, One slip, I’ll be good… I’ll be gone.
1:30am
I’m choking up again, I know this feeling like I know the sound of the wind. it’s when the worst is yet to come, Self destruction & hate are flowing through my veins, my blood is becoming more and more tainted. My words are only black, And those pretty tiny pills are getting prettier each day.
2:40pm
Nostalgic dreams and forgotten memories. I miss them like my summer of love. Screening my smokes and drowning my pain, I reach for you The brute of a man I once knew, He is now gone.
6:27pm
When you give your heart to someone, you expect a piece of their heart in return. You took mine and I’ve yet to get it back. Stolen in the dead of the night, where my body lay trembling. though yours stayed still… Used and abused, I still want what I can’t have.
3:05pm
Star no star is playing inside my head… and all I can think of is you. I want you, but can’t have you. I hate you, but need you. What hurts the most is that you don’t even want to talk to me anymore. Discarded, I feel broken.